This won’t be an easy blog post to write, but people need to see it because there are too many people walking around without taking a gram of responsibility for their lives.
Many are apt to blame their misery on the environment, other people or the government for their situation in life.
It is a convenient way out, it is a way to avoid the pain that they would experience when they start seeing that it was their decisions that put them in a bad situation. Not other people, not the environment and not the government.
Critics may say I am being a bit harsh so let me clarify something: I understand many people are suffering, and I’m sure the child in Africa who hasn’t eaten for the past week did not choose to be in the situation he is in.
And I’m certain no one chose to be brainwashed under the tyrannical rule of Kim Jong Un or be a refugee out in the middle east.
However, these people do have a choice to be grateful and happy to be alive, and I am sure a lot of them are, but it is not their fault for the pain and suffering that they are going through.
The same goes for people who have been diagnosed with a horrible illness that was not caused by smoking or obesity.
But when people here in America or the rest of the wealthy western world, where opportunity is abundant, refuse to take some ownership over why they are unhealthy, unwealthy, or unhappy there is a serious problem that needs to be addressed.
Little do these people realize is that if they truly are miserable, the only way to get out of that situation is to understand that their decisions have put them there and their decision to get out of it will be the only thing that will save them.
Taking full responsibility for one’s actions is one of the most important things that people who have massive success in their lives do.
I failed to mention this in the other post on habits of wealthy and successful people, but it is probably one of the main reasons why successful people have gotten to where they are.
Taking responsibility for your life can be painful and intimidating, especially if you are used to years and years of playing the blame game for your situation if you are in fact miserable. But there is a way out of it and there are some compelling reasons why you should get yourself out of a miserable situation.
This goes in line with the second pillar of empowerment, click the link to check out the pillars of empowerment to see what you can do to improve your life today.
Anyway, here are some compelling reasons why you should accept 100% responsibility for your life and some ways how you can start applying this principle today:
You Gain Confidence
Although accepting responsibility for your actions is painful, it is necessary if you want to become the confident person that you were created to be.
By accepting that you are the one in control of your life, you are empowering yourself to change, you are giving yourself the steering wheel and you will be able to control more aspects of your life.
As your life improves from this, you will begin to be more confident in yourself because you will notice that you are in fact capable of controlling your life and changing it for the better as you see fit.
Your confidence will also improve because you will no longer adopt a victim mentality, you will take on the challenges that life throws at you head on and become a better person through learning from your mistakes. This brings me to the next part.
You Learn and Grow from Your Mistakes
One of the most important reasons why you should take full responsibility for your actions is that you learn from your mistakes when you take ownership of them.
People who play the blame game for their mistakes and life situation will never learn anything. They will avoid the pain their mistakes caused them by blaming everything and everybody else around them and may even think that they are owed something because they are in a disadvantaged place in life. This is an awful mindset to have and it will always set you up for failure.
Take John for example. John is a salesperson working for a furniture company, he is constantly late for work and never closes his sales. Eventually, his boss fires him as he is not providing good results for the company and is not reliable.
John is very upset and completely bewildered as to how someone could fire him. The night before he was fired, he was out late drinking with a buddy of his. He came to work the next morning late, hungover and reeking of alcohol.
Of course, John’s boss felt him being late that morning was the last straw and so he fired him.
Instead of John telling himself that he could have done some things differently to not be late and hungover, he blamed his friend saying “he made me go out, it is all his fault” and he did not learn a thing from what happened.
So, John continues going out for long nights of boozing with his buddy and gets fired from two more jobs because he would come in an hour late and smell of booze at least three times a month.
As you can see, he did not learn a thing since he refused to look inward and see that he was being irresponsible and so he got fired from other jobs.
If only John had just taken the time and effort to reflect at what was causing him to be late and not close his sales, he may have been able to keep the next job he had.
Not learning from life lessons and just blaming everyone and everything else around you will not accomplish anything.
It Frees You
I mentioned this before when talking about confidence and taking responsibility for your actions but I will say again that when you take ownership of your mistakes, you take complete control of what caused the problem you are facing.
You put yourself in the driver’s seat by saying “my actions brought me here and my actions can get me out of this situation”.
A great example of this would be deciding to quit a dead-end job that has not given you any sort of joy or satisfaction in life.
You can tell yourself that it was your fault for settling for this terrible job but there is a way out. You can decide that you are going to ask for a promotion.
You can decide to start your own business or find a better job with a company that appreciates your value and will allow you to move up the corporate ladder.
These are all actions you could take to get out of a dead-end job that does nothing but take from you. By doing this, you are taking back control of your life and living it on your own terms. There are few freedoms greater than that.
3 Ways on How to Take Responsibility for Your Life
It’s always important to understand how to do something as well as why, and taking ownership for your mistakes in life is no different.
Reflect on your day
At the end of each day, take the time to write in a journal and reflect on everything you did.
Were there certain decisions you made that were not in line with your goals?
Did you complete the daily goals you set for yourself that day?
Is there anything negative that could have been avoided by doing something differently?
Try to be as objective as you can and do not allow yourself to get defensive. This may be painful and that is ok, allow yourself to feel whatever you need to and move forward.
Tell Yourself You Are in Control
You should tell yourself every day that you are in control of your life, that where you are today is an accumulation of all the decisions you have ever made in your life up to today.
Remind yourself that if you want to change, you can change and the only person responsible for that is you.
Quit Blaming Other People, Things, Places Etc.
This is the most important part of taking responsibility for your actions. When something bad happens to you, and it’s something you had even a slight degree of control over, always default to blaming yourself for it.
Do not beat yourself up for it, but ask how you could do things differently like I said before.
When you get a poor grade on an exam, don’t blame the professor, blame yourself for not studying as much as you could have.
When you lose your job, do not blame the economy or the government. Instead, go to a position where you tell yourself that there were things that you could have done better in your job to not get laid off or fired in the first place and move forward.
You will have a lot of personal and professional growth by not blaming other people, things, and places on the issues that you have in your life and you can use that growth to improve your life.
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Thank you for your time and take care!