Our society loves relationships of all kinds. From colleagues to relatives, to friends to lovers we are addicted to sharing ourselves with other people. And that’s a good thing! There are a lot of benefits to relationships of all kinds ranging from social support, personal growth, networking and the thrill of romance.
However, it is important to not have such a longing desire for a romantic relationship that you throw away your values, beliefs, goals and life purpose. As David Deida says in The Way of The Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire “Your purpose must come before your relationship”.
Although that book is geared towards heterosexual men dealing with the challenges of being in a relationship with a woman, the general concept can be applied to women and people of any sexual orientation as well.
You must focus on yourself first and work on becoming the best version of yourself as much as possible before entering a serious romantic relationship. Since we are all a work in progress until the day we die it is ok if you still have some work to do on yourself before dating someone but make sure that you are a complete human being. Make sure that you have healed from the baggage of previous relationships so that you can give your all to the next person and make sure you already have an engaging lifestyle that you enjoy.
Also, never ever compromise your goals, life vision, beliefs, and values for anybody. Ever. If the person you are considering dating does not have the same values, lifestyle and beliefs as you or they do not complement your life, then it is wise to move on and find someone who does.
Remember the mindset of abundance and never settling for something or someone that is not right for you. You will only set yourself up for pain and misery if you settle and you will regret the time wasted when that relationship inevitably crashes and burns.
If you have been single for a long time, it may be tempting to settle for a person who is not right for you. It might be tempting to just go for whoever pays attention to you because it feels right in the moment.
It may feel right, but the reality could be further from the truth. This is why you need to make sure you safeguard yourself by learning to be content with being single first and having a great life that you enjoy. That way you prevent what I like to call Sad Single Syndrome. Also, with some patience, faith, and persistence you will eventually find someone who is right for you.
So how do you go about being content with where you are at so that you do avoid Sad Single Syndrome? Well these 3 ways will show you how:
Get a Hobby That You Are Passionate About
When you are spending your time doing things that you love, you will not pay as much attention to the empty feeling of being single. In fact, you may not experience that empty feeling anymore since you are satisfied with the experience of doing the things that you love.
If you are unsure about what you love or don’t love this is a fantastic opportunity to discover yourself.
Consider taking some classes in areas like cooking, dance, yoga, or fitness, which will not only expose you to people to build friendships with but will also distract you from the awful feeling that comes with Sad Single Syndrome. And like I said before you might enjoy your new hobbies so much that you may even be cured of this awful condition.
Work Towards Compelling Goals:
We all have areas of our lives that we would like to improve on so why not start working towards that when you are single. The time we have when we are single is much more abundant than when we are in a romantic relationship with someone so this is the perfect time to work on yourself.
Do you need to lose some weight, gain strength or gain muscles mass? Get a gym membership and go on a diet. Set your fitness goals and then write down the steps you need to take to get there.
Would you like to make more money than you do right now? Go and ask for a promotion or take on an extra project at work. You could also take advantage of your single years by starting up a business and try to do awesome things with that. The world is your oyster and you can take life by the horns knowing that you have goals that excite and motivate you. For more on improving this area of your life check out my post about setting goals.
Be Grateful for the Relationships You Have Now
When you are suffering from Sad Single Syndrome, it is easy to get caught up in the negativity of thinking that you will be forever alone. One way to counteract this negativity is to be thankful for the relationships you currently have with your friends and relatives.
Think back at some of the memorable and enjoyable moments that you have had with your friends and relatives and be sure to create more memories with them in the future. Just like with finding hobbies you are passionate about, being grateful for the good people in your life and spending time with them will distract you from the negative feelings of Sad Single Syndrome and teach you to be content with your singleness.
And if you do not have good people in your life already, make the effort to find some and surround yourself with them. Just as you should never settle for the wrong dating partner, you should never settle for the wrong friends either.
When you learn to ultimately be genuinely content with your singleness, you no longer experience the melancholy of Sad Single Syndrome and you can make more objective assessments of potential partners. This will prevent you from making bad dating decisions and save you from a ton of heartache down the road. The older you get, the more important it is to never settle for someone who isn’t right for you so learn to be content with your singleness as soon as you can.
Also, by being content with being single you no longer have an urgency to find somebody which is very attractive. This is because having a sense of urgency with dating creates neediness and co-dependency which is something that emotionally healthy people will not ever be attracted to.
If you have any other ideas on how to become more content with singledom and on how to avoid Sad Single Syndrome, please share it in the comments below.
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Until next time, take care!